aside silly things annoy me


i was NEVER patient, so i can’t blame my getting pissed off by small things entirely on how i physically am…but it maybe gives me verification to feel annoyed, that could be it!?!

  • i do my best to do what i am asked.
  • i commit to do something and try to see it through -as best i can!
  • i say what i mean and no bullshit pretence.
  • i am doing far more than i should be doing.
  • am trying to defer – in theory – any procedure they potentially may suggest until i have carried through all the musical projects i have agrred to.
  • i put other people first..

okay- some of those are weaknesses more than strengths.

some are stupid, and even risky!

a few are ridiculous and may not even be decisions i will have to make, or if i do, may not be CHOICES open to debate.

but at the minute, i am trying to be positive, to be me 100% full me, as i can. So i do find it upsets me when:

  • i am willing to take on a performance for my choir, for TV, short notice but a great PR opportunity for them -AND make personal appeals to them to attend rehearsals!
  • I continue to rehearse producing new material working towards the CHOIR learning the material – rather than have stagnant repertoire, and last week practice had 3 sopranos – out of 14 odd.
  • i send begging mail for attendance tomorrow, knowing full well that we will have a handful of ladies as we have the last weeks.
  • i send emails around the musical theatre group i am teaching for a Christmas musical, encouraging them to attend.
  • i continue to be free with my time when i don’t feel up to it, and people don’t attend with cold, maternity leave (from a choir?).

I know its me.

I know am judging people as these are events i feel i should be able to control, and i judge them for not doing what i am…

being a bollux?

is it that i am doing everything and cos i feel i can they all should?

but it upsets me!

H

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