i was NEVER patient, so i can’t blame my getting pissed off by small things entirely on how i physically am…but it maybe gives me verification to feel annoyed, that could be it!?!
- i do my best to do what i am asked.
- i commit to do something and try to see it through -as best i can!
- i say what i mean and no bullshit pretence.
- i am doing far more than i should be doing.
- am trying to defer – in theory – any procedure they potentially may suggest until i have carried through all the musical projects i have agrred to.
- i put other people first..
okay- some of those are weaknesses more than strengths.
some are stupid, and even risky!
a few are ridiculous and may not even be decisions i will have to make, or if i do, may not be CHOICES open to debate.
but at the minute, i am trying to be positive, to be me 100% full me, as i can. So i do find it upsets me when:
- i am willing to take on a performance for my choir, for TV, short notice but a great PR opportunity for them -AND make personal appeals to them to attend rehearsals!
- I continue to rehearse producing new material working towards the CHOIR learning the material – rather than have stagnant repertoire, and last week practice had 3 sopranos – out of 14 odd.
- i send begging mail for attendance tomorrow, knowing full well that we will have a handful of ladies as we have the last weeks.
- i send emails around the musical theatre group i am teaching for a Christmas musical, encouraging them to attend.
- i continue to be free with my time when i don’t feel up to it, and people don’t attend with cold, maternity leave (from a choir?).
I know its me.
I know am judging people as these are events i feel i should be able to control, and i judge them for not doing what i am…
being a bollux?
is it that i am doing everything and cos i feel i can they all should?
but it upsets me!