“Try to relax and take things easy”

The day that i had my appointment with the Consultant to tell me about the results of my MRI, my memory is of the STUPID questions that i asked, and the equally STUPID answers i gave him!

The doctor’s phrase was “on the main your scan was good – unfortunately there was what seemed to be a cyst on the brain….” and then out went all logic and intelligence…” . I remember a few phrases that i did come out with:

  • “am glad you found something” – when he breaks this news…
  • “will you still keep me on your books as i like you!?”…- think he’s great seeing me every 2 months!
  • ” thank-you”…when he says will be referring me to neurosurgeon…like i got a present.

all the time this man is smiling in a vague way, probably wondering what kind of half-wit doesn’t react to this appointment…and I assume the night he admitted me to hospital, and saw me, I seemed a bit more tuned in!

I DO remember asking him, that while i am waiting on the neurolosurgeon to assess me, can I not go on the preventative medicine for migraines…and he telling me NO..that i won’t ever be recommended to go on that now…i have to continue on the cocktail of Tramadol, Paracetamol and Voltarol…

but the one cracker phrase that i do remember was the one where he looked at me in a pitying kind of concern and said with a kind face:

“Try to relax and take things easy”

  • how do you explain that in real life you are a mum of 4 children, A 20 year old and a 19 year old – both of them at college. The years from teens to that stage are NOT without scars and strains.
  • younger two children are an aspergers son aged 12 in his first year at Grammar School, and a 10 year old son who is now in the throws of that disgusting unregulated transfer test.
  • my husband has always been the sickeningly healthier half in our marriage – until earlier this year, when he suffered serious illness which has changed life for us both!
  • my health has so many layers of problems that i couldn’t and wouldn’t even begin to list them, but suffice to say I retired 5 years ago through illhealth, and at this stage am more on the donate-your-body-to-science-list than the organ-donors-list i used to be on!
  • I have spent the last few years having counselling for a trauma in my childhood  – one that was never really dealt with, and i have only discussed with my sister and my husband – and really need to deal with properly.
  • my mum has Alzheimer’s and is getting worse steadily. 
  • my dad is her carer, and has until recently refused to accept that he can’t manage her…and the guilt that i feel at not being able to offer physical help is at times overwhelming…but in reality i know i am not able to take anything more on!

Take it easy and relax……







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