but i think there are options around growing up!
my husband flatly refuses to!
But I have gradually – unplanned – and possibly gradually grown up in the last few years.
I think part of the METHOD which is involved in growing up, is that life has to throw a fair amount of unplanned, uncontrollable, unimaginable SHIT at you.
I remember when i was young…younger…that
- i didn’t have the confidence i do now.
- I was a compliant good girl.
- i was an obliging colleague
- advised by my childminder on my kids
- needing validation from my parents
- what people thought of me mattered
- i would NOT challenge authority.
then life demanded me to be able to adjust. i had to while running around trying to keep sanity that :
- there is no normal…
- that you don’t have a planned existence where each of the children has a bruise-free existence,
- where you and your other half work until you are old enough to retire and
- THEN you enjoy life…
- take trips to the beach,
- read novels….
what a reality check! you don’t plan hardship. You don’t imagine your family being thrown a grenade and you all doing what you can to hang in there!
I remember talking to a very wise friend at one stage when absolutely hanging to sanity by my finger nails…
” i just want things to go back to normal!”
and she wisely but simply said
“Helen THIS is NORMAL“
and from then on things had to be flexible.
I was doing to life what i laughed at my father doing every Autumn, as he daily swept up the leaves as they fell… I was trying to CONTROL the world.
once I acknowledged that i wasn’t able to, and that when it wasn’t my turn to wade through the CRAP, it was someone else’s. its always somebody’s turn.
But i see now that i have grown up!
- i don’t look for advice from my parents – they are old
- i can’t run a smooth life for my children but i can be here when they want me to HUG them.
- i cant control illness as it controls my life
- i cant predict health – as nobody saw what was coming to us last year.
- i don’t worry what people think of me.
- when i do something i do it well – IF i agree to do it.
- i take no orders – work or personal.
- i make decisions – never feel i “have to” do anything.
- i will never be owned in a work type situation..never
- i will never be treated rudely – without correcting it.
- i will NOT be bullshitted by anyone, in any profession, in any position
- i am as able mentally as i have ever been.
- i fear nobody – i deal with all i need to easily.
- i am happy to be as confident as i am now
- i exist in local community – i dont have to try to please all
- i challenge -a wrong – to me or to anyone else.
- i dont tolerate rudeness
- i am not ignorant and aggressive but i am direct and outspoken
- and i will manage the healthcare professionals i deal with to have best health i can.
- i can disagree – read up – and be taken seriously…its okay to do that
- i won’t be a doormat!
i LIKE being grown up!