thank God we can’t see what’s ahead of us!!

thank God we can’t see what is heading our way next….or we would pack life in!

I think humans are created equally, but they make different choices.
But I find it hard to see why some people seem to swan through life effortlessly….others….most others don’t!

On my more philosophical days, I may say to someone:
…”This IS real life!” When am asked “when will life ever go back to normal?”
…Or when am met with ” oh why mean” – I DO sometimes answer the “everyone has real shit to deal with at some time!!”
….But more often than NOT am convinced there are a few slimy, nasty, bastards…who seem to get through life fairly uninjured!

But I actually believe now that the HONEST reason for depression is that it is a perfectly natural reaction to how tough life is!

But if anyone mapped out a life and handed it to me and I had seen what was coming….I may have asked for an exchange…

Life has great great incredibly great that they will never be forgotten… And…..BUT….jesus it is often that there are periods of HELL…when so much layers of crap get thrown at you!

I am having a period of life when am barely treading water…feels at times you are just getting moving and then more crap is dumped and you start again…

I amn’t in it alone – thankfully.
This is a load of happenings in my life AND those immediately in my family…my extended family

We are presently dealing with things that NOBODY should have to deal with – even one at a time….but these are layered up…and just when you feel…nothing else could possibly go wrong…you turn a corner and are hit with MORE

We have:
Really sick children
Ill hubbies
Mental health problems
Tests and more tests
Sudden death
Close loved ones dying
Retirement due to illhealth

I stood today crying at an aunts Funeral – wondering who was next , silently. But I know already I was wrong. I know who it is.

Am typing this in hospital ward with my aspergers son. His 6th admission for a 5 week constant headache. We don’t know cause yet…so more tests and scans…
Yet I know I have a friends baby – who is so ill that I am not the worst off mammy.

Why the hell is life this tough?
Why on same people?

It really is just as well we have no idea, what is coming next…..we just would give up?
Or is that just me?
Please life….ENOUGH!

Let me breathe?



  1. H, I experienced a really difficult time not that long ago, like yourself I wondered what next….I made myself think every day of those things I was so grateful for, and remember where there is life there is HOPE, don’t give up. Mx

    • Today – I buried the aunt, watched mam not understand…heart awful news about a very very dear friend..abd niw back in hospital with fionn
      Have 3 medical appointments in Belfast between Jimmy and I tomorrow – which will have to defer…
      Expect another funeral this week.
      What next?
      Will try your idea x

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