the stranger …ASSESSING my health…..DLA


as continued for yesterdays blog…

https://atleastihaveabrain.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/crippled-genuinely-but-who-says-disabled-medical-assessor/

Today i had to be free for a 4 hour period.

That was ok.

Horrible but ok.

I didn’t know the gender, age, experience, personality of this person.

Just a NAME.

An hour – and then advises on me,

on my life.

my needs for care,

my mobility…

my credibilty.

ME

a JUDGEMENT

from a STRANGER.

feels so cold.

She was a She.

i was dosing when she arrived.

Had had a terrible sleep last night…worry…and pain.

Husband brought her in.

She was polite.

FAST

Questions SHOT out – like BULLETS

answers have given whe next one started.

  • what conditions do you have
  • what clinics are you currently attending
  • since when?
  • what scans have you had,
  • when?
  • how often do you attend…

She didn’t have a copy of my form

Had my GP had it first, or had i been asked, this could have been filled out!

  • hospitalisations?
  • A+E treatments?
  • medications?

husband had a list of my drug cocktail

saved at least 10 minutes!

and a letter on Mental health from my Psychologist

very honest –

very personal

very helpful?

gave those to her.

Then onto the re-run of the form

    • walking?
    • dressing?
    • toilet is?
    • showering?
    • sleeping?
    • cooking?
    • describe your day!….my DAY?? WHAT DAY????
    • driving?
    • independence?

some of the time , i held her BACK- she would feel i had answered enouh, but there was MORE…lots MORE that i needed to tell.

i don’t think half of THAT ended on page.

then can i examine you?

YES.

  • i can do so little what can she make me do?
  • can’t reach past my knees.
  • cant raise left leg
  • pusle rose on walking slowly to other side of room
  • relexes
  • eyes
  • refused to do stairs…but described the demoralising thing that has become.
  • sounded me, chest, heart
  • peakflow
  • weight – i told her about this problem as issue.
  • how often do i have headaches?
  • backaches?
  • OT – aids, suggestions,….

Then she started to write…and write….

tomes…

volumes …

in silence…

fluid prose…

about ME…

about 15 minutes that were about ME.

can i be summarised as an entity by that?

how had i been assessed in that?

i sat in very miserable silence aware that i had been JUDGED somehow.

it’s a HORRIBLE feeling.

even in a court, you have a defence

you have time to talk

this was NOT enough!

At the end of an hour and 12 minutes , she said, that her report is not the decision, it goes back to the decision maker….

Can we get a copy?

yes of course – apply in writing.

I asked her, please could i at a HUMAN level, not formally – but it was crucial to ME -ask if she understood and BELIEVED me, when i described how SHIT my life is?

She gave me a genuine smile…i think…

and said “Oh YES“…with a pity in her eyes.

it really sounded Human!

i said…THANKYOU

that matters

to me.

She left.

I am here.
exam

Hx

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