acceptance is NOT resignation.
but the realisation that more than a “dander” ,as we Irish call it, requires more work than my legs have in them…is a stage in acceptance for me.
i KNEW that a weekend away with the family was not an option without hiring a wheelchair. I wrote about it.
BUT….when you have an OT and there is an acknowledgment that you need YOUR OWN for the moment, then that is different thing.
When you are away on a trip you have no doubt you need the chair.
KIDS fighting over who can push…
On my first trip in a wheelchair i watched for the “looks”…there weren’t any!
So felt ok.
BUT nobody knew me there….
Nobody knows me in Derry, in Dublin…
BUT they have got used to and know well that Hazel is now part of my person ….my faithful cane.
People even know her by name…and she is accepted.
but am not SURE that i can imagine being in MADGE in my own town….that’s another stage of acceptance.
- none of the locals know i have had to make adjustments already
- they don’t see me SIT to put on make up
- nobody sees the shower seat to conserve energy
- or the bed lift to sit me up at the touch of a button.
- realises that i don’t GO into town as i haven’t the energy…
but they will see this.
and the IRONY is my brain is causing ALL THIS…yet my brain is cognitively as sharp as ever…dying to get going on the next project.
i have to be ready – be happy to be me…new me