chronic illness makes you forgotten….


dep5

 I’m sad today

AGAIN.

long-term illness becomes stale

lack of going out becomes assumed

a lot of people assume surgery is cure

there IS no cure

i don’t need flowers or cards

i don’t assume people

i don’t want attention..

but maybe

i’d hope for some interest

some understanding

some thought.

chronicillnessloses

Today i did the same old things

rested

slept

i DO feel sad

i KNOW “we are in a new stage-

acceptance”

diagnostic is past

critical is past

acute recovery past.

acceptance

BUT I FEEL LIFE is passing too

PEOPLE are passing

interest is past

WHY do i measure against ME?

I am me

I do it my way

OTHERS can be FRIENDS and do it their way.

it’s not a right or a wrong issue…

and I know that.

but TODAY I hurt.

TODAY i tried to reach out

to explain ME

CHIARI ME

NEW ME…

i posted a small post on facebook a few days ago.

Facebook is where my friends live

Where i go out

where i try to maintain a social existence

(between sleeps and appointments)

i posted THIS:

This is WHAT I HAVE…

this is a fairly good explanation of my brain condition…
turn volume OFF
toilet music is horrible!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50nI45Qn878

2

2 people have looked.

2

2 care

no comments?

so do they care?

i feel forgotten.

life has passed me by

friends?

past caring?

what comes NEXT?

in this new phase?

what AM I?

what AM I FIT FOR?

is this a LIFE?

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10 comments

  1. Helen, You are not forgotten by those of us who really do understand and care. There are many many others like you who have gotten the help they need and have learnt to live with this and other chronic illnesses. I’ll mail you shortly with some good news xx

  2. Sometimes when it seems like the ‘world and all our friends have passed us by”, it is because of how we are. I know, speaking from my own experience, i have a tendency to withdraw and at times that comes across as indifference to and for them! Its not the same for everyone I know Helen, but hang in there… It does come round again!

  3. Sometimes I prefer no comments in FB. People who do not understand pain, suffering, and discomfort do not have idea of the meaning of empathy. But wait…!!! When they see themselves in a “similar” situation I become the best friend because I been there, done that. I think FB is a place for show what I do not have and pretend I have what I wish to have. Hang in there! You will be better, much better every day, just because you say so. 🙂

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