my weaknesses are my strengths.
i have realised this for a LONG time now…
my weaknesses, my Achilles heal are my morals, my code of conduct.
The ultimate IRONY.
my strengths have once been used to manipulate me…to weaken me…to force me.
it’s like beating a football team , by playing against them with their OWN style of tactics!
My STRENGTHS…once they are known…are my VULNERABILITIES…my Weaknesses.
but i can’t change them.
my BODY is not strong…but my mind, morals and persistence are.
Easier to think of negatives but am deliberately challenging the Irish tendency to do that- and going for my 10 strengths!
my 10 strengths
- ability to think outside the box – to see ways around problems that others miss.
- determination. to follow through what i undertake FULLY…..and it will be well done.
- i am honest and trustworthy. i have decided that despite the occasional friends it costs me, honesty matters and is so rare. but that is what i want as a way of life.
- sense of humour – mainly black…or even the odd oneliner. But if it weren’t for the sense of humour i would have packed life in and given up the drive quite a few times.
- pigheadedness…similar to determination. but motivated by challenge – the challenge of doing something because i know it CAN be done – despite the advise i am getting to tell me not. This is possibly the attribute that explains my son’s resilience and ability in life so far…i was NOT in agreement with the “experts” and that motivated me to prove them wrong for him.
- musicianship. i am talented, and honoured to be so, so i don’t take my talent for granted, nor do i totally take credit for it – its a combination of hard work and inate ability. But as musicians go, I am good, and I am aware of that – but that to me carries a responsibility to use it for others as well as i can.
- am fair. too fair. aware of injustices and inequalities, and rather than just see to myself, i tend to crusade for provision for all…and am aware it takes on a lot, but that so many people trust large statutory bodies to provide for them and this, unfortunately i have learnt does NOT happen. So i don the invisible cape and on i battle.
- i care. i love the people in my life. i keep touch with friends when things are tough for them. i don’t forget people. i am genuinely caring….not that it is always visible
- i am willing to share successful lessons i have learned with anyone. Be they about healthcare, education, illnesses…what are considered taboo topics and nobody guides you through them, if i have had experience of good or bad nature, i will share for someone else’s benefit.
- i can manage any public situation…however challenging. i have no boundaries to how far i am willing to stand up and speak up. i know it helps me and my family – although may not make friends.
as i was writing each strength i was really aware that it had a trade weakness…and would have been so easy to write them. Its almost like the odd time when i knit..i wreck ME by wanting to finish the garment now? overkill?
but tried to separate these and be specific to my worst bits!
my 10 weaknesses
- will not compromise with honesty – and honesty can be a lonely space- as those willing to accept less, will give less than the truth…and i will NOT move from the position which is the correct one. It has cost me. But lies in my life have cost me more…
- my body is not able to do things i expect it to, or want it to…that’s what my husband meant when he said “at least you still have your brain” and unknowingly led to the blog title. But the body i have been assigned is poor. I am severely limited but many conditions which make keeping up with what i want to do difficulty – at times impossible. Am still to a point in denial about how much allowance i need give to that…
- being misjudged HURTS. hurting is so painful to me. When peripheral contacts annoy me, it doesn’t effect me, but when someone i expect to KNOW me, judges my motives wrongly….that hurts…so i guess it depends on WHO misjudges me.
- i react quickly- too quickly at times. So i don’t always take the easiest approach. i need to work on that.
- i am a mother. Do i need to expand? that means i should be able to change the world for my children. They also are ALWAYS going to be my children, so while i do untie the physical strings, i haven’t ever developed to ability not to worry, to fear, to blame myself for every problem they encounter. I probably always will.
- i like affirmation or validation at some level from my husband…and if he disagrees with what i am doing, thinking i feel it is personally him not supporting me. So somehow while growing old i seemed to have missed, or i lost that part of growing up which gives you the confidence to judge your instincts irrespective of who thinks what.
- my brain does NOT switch off easily…day or night…my brain whirls and churns over the day, the week ahead, the worries the what ifs…until the boxes in my life are all ticked…and in my case ticked means WELL done! 😦
- am not good at being disorganised or spontaneous …i can’t STAND listening to an ipod on shuffle. It challenges my organised and structured brain! (aspergers traits? me? NEVER!)
- i have developed ODD s a lifestyle choice. I LOVE a day when i don’t have to leave the house. I can have a reasonable existence using email, phones, online shopping, . Am NOT ODD to the point of not wanted visitors, but going out as in “out” would frighten the “what the hell do people wear out?”from me. Can mix – comfortably!…with anyone of any age group!….but am very happy in my own space.
- i worry for the world…and could win Olympic medals in it. particularly about my children and my husband…was always uniquely my parents when i was little…but don’t remember a time in my life when there wasn’t something on my mind…God that’s a bad admission…
so there you go warts and all.