i was NOT good at english at school
RELATIVELY not good.
i was good at analytical essays,
but CREATIVE writing?
definitely not me.
i was a quiet, odd child
nowadays i may be labelled as having aspergers
in those days i used to seek solace in practicing piano…
particularly hours of harmonic minor scales…
but that inner nerd took me through a lot of my life!
now am older
bruised and tarnished and scarred by life.
but wiser .
i KNOW where my voice is.
i USE it.
so why do i BLOG?
do i blog about you?
i write about me.
it’s adjustments – the painful ones.
in fact what do i blog?
or WHY do i feel I am important enough to write a BLOG?
am quite sure they have all been asked by many people including me!
do i see myself on the LateLate Show when my little pages become a bookdeal?
do i hELL!!
but sometimes in a moment of deep humour i’d LOVE to see a few faces if i were known to be going to write my memoirs….
my blog is nothing like that
and I am nothing like that.
so first you need understand a BLOG- what is it?
there you go.
But why me?
what do i feel i have to gain by blogging?
my MENTAL Health!
my physical health has feck all that i can do about it,
In a nutshell.
i write therefore i think therefore i process therefore in a way i VOICE what is hurting me, confusing me.
i no longer bottle up PAIN.
that was a younger me.
The survivor me has a voice.
it is cathartic for me
it doesn’t change the world or what the world has given me to deal with, but it feels like I am telling someone MY feelings.
if i was American maybe i wouldnt need to blog…I’d pop in, lie down and tell my shrink…WOW i’d love the luxury.
so what do i blog about?
what is happening.
my health, my life, my feelings, my thoughts
but i never lie – that would defeat the purpose!
i don’t aim to DEFEAT or SHAME others,
i would never do that…
no emails to the papers
no bitching to the town gossips
not my style
i would challenge and speak to people
but my lifestyle is
i tend to stay at home -and write concept of how i am.
in a way it’s ALL ABOUT ME.
but that’s why i bother.
it is to help me.
to remove it from my thoughts and purge it to paper.
Do i worry what people think of it?
NO…am not under any illusion that i am a writer
it’s just me!
mine is not a style so much as a think it and type as you do.
its honest thought
and often how i feel about large bodies like health and education where my inner leftie rises to speak to inform people what i have learned by experience…
maybe at some stage i will feel i don’t need to rant.
but at the minute
blah, blah, blah…