social networking is great!
i love it – not hypocritical.
BUT it is contact in a virtual way. it can be “LIKE” on a photo of someone you are not really in any contact with. or pretense.
For ME? it has been my “virtual social life” for a long time as i live a life of pain, fatigue and isolation. A world where my hairdresser may be one of the 4/5 people i speak to in the week. That was all i could manage but has become all i HAVE.
So i need MORE.
i need to someone ACCEPT my limitations and still manage to LIVE. not exist.
i need to TRY to be less tick-able, and more callable.
am SURE i will be criticised, but ONLY by those who doubt me, discuss me, and find fault in EVERYYthing i do ,say or allegedly do or say. So feck that!
- I am trying to recover ME from virtual world to real world-
- allowing ME to be physically entirely different,
- NOT clear on how ME will move,
- to adjust to being the new ME that my BODY cruelly has created.
- unclear on where i BEGIN to define what ME is acceptable to me
- but realising that the current ME my physical ability and movement, my condition, allows me to have,
- my current ME does not tally with the ME that my brain can host,
- and that my social choices limit me from.
- a LOT of “is this it” has gone into this philosophical wondering…
- now we TRY to work out ME.
- friends may even come and find ME!
This is where I am struggling.
Been here for almost 2 years.
First I hid from being desperately hurt.
Then I had brain surgery.
NOW my symptoms and most especially my leg weakness more or less leaves me housebound.
Has done now for almost 2 years.
How can I live fully with disability that limits me walking?
I have so much of the old “ME” left in me.
So much music that I am still able to do and I will
– on my own, with whoever asks and with Caritas. It makes me feel like ME
But am indoors now. Nearly all the time. It’s very difficult.
I need to learn a way to maximise what I can do.
Am for the moment leaving the virtual existence online – Facebook has made it too easy for me to do this.
You know where I am. Reality time to reflect. I need to live as fully as I can, and to adjust to how i am. And how to manage that more.
Thanks for understanding.
I will be back!