today i ventured out to meet a friend. She jumped when i texted her to suggest what we could do…
and i had to say to stop her and say “no i can’t”.
and there are a LOT of can’t dos now!
It was really emotionally challenging..cos i was so aware of the context i last met her..l. Last time we were together I was able.
It’s a different ME… i use a stick now fulltime, and a wheelchair is needed for covering more than 5 minutes walk ….
That’s why YOU may not have seen me.
on the inside I am still ME.
i have the same ME in music, the same dry sense of humour from the old ME.
But there are a LOT of symptoms and implications.
I do not get out- other than a very short walk – otherwise the wheels are needed.
I haven’t got the equipment to match the disability level i am at.
Have laid low on Facebook, as to be honest, so many of you don’t know my new ME, my new level of disability. I feel that i have emotionally come to terms with the change in ME, but I want to and I need to start to LIVE and to do that i need to go out.
So although I have adjusted to ME now, physically i don’t have the right equipment for this stage in my condition. This is what i need. on a day to day basis. It’s an assisted wheels self propel wheelchair. one size does NOT suit ALL conditions.But costs about £5000…so I am waiting, and hoping. but THIS IS the ME i have now.
Have been looking into funding the wheelchair i need. Spent a few days emailing and searching. But if you hadn’t known there was a new ME…i haven’t been hiding…so where have you been? lol