begging and dignity


i worked all of the years i was able.

i am now disabled, and have been unfit to work but able to potter about for the first few years of retirement…now? NO.

  • you beg and have to prove your invisible symptoms to doctors for a few years before someone eventually joins the dots, and names a condition – the validation of that diagnosis.puzzle pieces
  • you beg for decisions to be made on the condition, whether or not surgery is any benefit, or just a risk….as we know it is not s cure.
  • as you become less and less able, or is it more and more unable, you have to BEG the system for DLA-  you BEG for recognition of the shitty life in pain you lead.
  • you beg – dignity gone-  to scramble up farcically long waiting lists as you become worse.
  • you become less ABLE and unability becomes disability. Dignity is challenged to within an inch of it’s existence.Scope
  • you need a specific type of wheelchair, when your condition becomes one of acceptance, less rehab and more adjusting. You go through processes of applying for FUNDING for the said vehicle. It ain’t no SPORTSCAR! Its a WHEELCHAIR which will help you to move about. wheelspls
  • at THIS stage you are BEGGING for the basic right to get around. You fill in forms, and form, and forms…
  • you demoralise yoursel,

  • you paint your life how it is,

  • your family life,

  • your lack of disposable income on an illhealth pension,

  • you mentally flatten yourself,

  • again,

  • again,

  • and again,

  • and you receive the “we are sorry” emails which are so so so distressing.  you are dependant on these people FACILITATING the amount of life you COULD have  within the already tight confines of your condition.

I remember seeing Michael J Fox make a statement…which angered me. PERHAPS one can retain dignity if one has unlimited funds. inspirational-quotes-about-bullying

  • But Michael, have you had to BEG?

  • To apply to what you know will be a “sorry” but “NO” response again!

  • To set up the “just Giving Page” – about YOU!… Project Helen’s Wheels. Just Giving Page

i HAVE LOST my dignity – i have NOT had the choice to retain it.  Disability has done that for me…in many ways.

I try, but i know it has been removed by NEED.

tried

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3 comments

  1. Helen, you are to be admired for your determination and will power. It’s fantastic that your friends are getting together to help fund raise for your new chair and I look forward to the day we see photos of our new chair in this blog . Believe you can and you are already half way there….. xx

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