I have been reminded recently that at lest I have my legs.

with an undercurrent of “so why the chair?”

and a whiff of “if you can walk, then….”

or perhaps just “you are either disabled or NOT…you can’t play both ways”.

“how do you do those stairs?”….


i HATE that i let things annoy me when i should know better.

People who will question me, will ALWAYS do that.

Those who discuss me, will continue to do that.

People who KNOW me, will NOT listen.

and i SHOULD remember this….time and time again.

… but it HURT.

a throwaway comment questioning me when i have spent the past years rebuilding the BIONIC me …the new ME….the stonger, learned from being cheated and mistreated me…and all while i recovered from months of serious illness and learned to adjust to my brain and its implications….

yet it HURT… and i felt the need to POST


MY Legs.

I have my legs.
BUT i can only use my legs for a very short time or distance without causing myself extreme pain.
Is it part of my condition?
Is it symptom left after 6 weeks meningitis?
Is it caused by one of 7 operations i had on my brain/spine?
Is it linked to the 14 lumbar punctures?

Does it matter?
i NEED a stick for even short journey.
i am on severe medication and pain procedures because of my brain and spinal trouble.
i have lots of OTHER symptoms….BUT I imagine the WHEELCHAIR is going to cause the most confusion for people.

i need the wheelchair to AVOID increasing my level of pain.
to avoid the mental fatigue that is associated with using my legs…
maybe THAT will help you realise how you haven’t seen me much at all outside the house for 2 years.
This CHAIR please God, will allow me to conserve some of my energy to see people, meet people, go places…to BE more.

so yes i have LEGS.
i have minimal use of my LEGS.
Having done 2 years of rehab, and brain rehab i know my limit.
This will NOT be improving.
But i can understand my condition

please understand that nobody would choose this as an option- this wheelchair will allow me to see you.


today i can see…

i own NOBODY my medical proof.

i do NOT answer to anyone.

Hindsight…great education.




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