top ten


10s3

10 things that you don’t know about my health:

  1. every day i struggle to get my brain physically awake
  2. i may NOT leave the house more than twice a week – and that would be to get my hair done and maybe to watch a sons’ football match.
  3. i SIT while showering, dressing and doing makeup – to conserve energy in case i need to do something later.
  4. i have not been in the shopping centre in my home town for MONTHS….through lack of energy.
  5. i need a SLEEP – every day – at least once. Children go up and get my day time towel and pillow…routine.
  6. i have a cool hydraulic lift-me-up-when-i-press-the-button on my bed. it helps me sit up.
  7. this is NOT a part of recovery but a part of having my condition – which includes all sorts of neurological features, eye sight problems, fatigue, dizziness and nausea, weak limbs, HEADACHE, back pain….that’s a 10 all on its own!
  8. i need a cane for short walks, and if a normal trip is planed i have to use a wheel chair – mine has now been ordered and is on the way to me.
  9. i am NOT getting better at the moment. I am adjusting to the baseline where we NOW are…this MAY be IT…if it is, i must manage with IT.
  10. it is so much easier to answer “i’m ok” when am asked how I am, that really gunking the other person with the reality.

10smy 10 top strengths

  1. sense of humour – albeit black
  2. realisation that ALL are EQUAL… nobody is greater than anyone else!
  3. honesty.
  4. insufference of lies
  5. intolerance of injustice.
  6. musicianship
  7. am a reliable friend
  8. trustworthy
  9. outside the box thinker
  10. determination.

10

my 10 commandments:

  1. don’t LIE
  2. don’t avoid saying something that sits heavily with you.
  3. don’t allow injustice
  4. don’t endorse bullying
  5. don’t be purely superficial
  6. ask ME do not ask about me.
  7. tell people what they mean when they are still alive
  8. VALUE your friends and family
  9. keep your faith in GOD .
  10. listen to your conscience.

10s3

10 things that have been momentous in the last year:

  1. i started with brain surgery and spent 8 weeks in a lonely hospital bed…hoping that mammy would still recognise me by name when i got home (and thank God she did!)
  2. many people made beautiful enquiries about me, post surgery or meningitis…a few didn’t…that was unchristian and very painful.
  3. my mammy was so affectionate when i did finally come home and loved to see me.
  4. i had a week with my mammy which i will always treasure – where she was dying and was happy we were with her, and we were lucky enough to stay with her.
  5. we got to see the value of friends and community – those who rose beyond our expectations…wonderful people…truly humbling as we were supported.
  6. the post hospital and post death visiting has petered out and i do live a fairly lonely existence.
  7. i have composed many pieces and am publishing as my head was full of untapped natural music.
  8. i learned to crochet in hospital and it has kept me busy all year
  9. i HATE the dark long evenings.
  10. my God is hiding…like a needle in a haystack…i NEED my faith, but i really have had it battered.

10s2

10 things i am thankful for:

  1. my memories of my mammy – they come to me so many times.
  2. my dad – who bring me, like the elderly geriatric he visits to mammy’s grave.
  3. my husband – i just have no words – he is my carer…cooks…cleans…drives…organisers..does….and forgives me feeling so useless…..another 10 in there.
  4. my daughter. She texts me and picks me up when i need a hug. i love her.
  5. my sons. 3 of them…all different stages of uselessness 🙂 in the best possible way. ALWAYS make it seem that they need help, or maybe they do. Irish sons in that sense. Will be raising them for ever.
  6. my talent. Despite doors being closed, locked, me pushed down…i will ALWAYS have that. i thank God for the gift and i do my best to get opportunities to use it soon.
  7. the SEA…a bit random? THAT is the one place that i can see God, hear him, smell him, feel the spray of POWER which can’t be controlled, contained, moulded….IT is in charge…i need that!
  8. the security i feel in life. A loving family and home. Every day.
  9. that i can in a small way make a difference to some of my friends by helping them, listening to them, asking them things which i know they need to talk about.
  10. MUSIC….in its most natural sense…to love…listen to…make…heal…mould….arrange…is in my heart!

10s410 things i will not do before i die :

  1. no more long haul flights
  2. no rollercoasters
  3. never tumble over a yoga ball
  4. sing with Tony Bennett
  5. never finish the fu** it list
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