CRIED


today i cried

i CRIED

i cried openly

i cried for hours

floods….

that i didn’t know i had in me.

i definitely had no plan to flood the room

but so many painful thoughts

painful memories

judgements

perceptions of judgements

injustices

on people

then on me

honesty

integrity

openness

means no guard to defense system

so after stress building

building slowly

but building too long and too cruelly

TEARS

tears flooding everywhere

rivers and rivers of tears

tissues covered my knees

as the words and the tears tumbled freely out

unstoppable

tears

necessary tears

honest tears from the heart of my pain

HOURS of tears

uncontrollable as they had needed to escape

held back behind pretense not of coping,

but of simply going through motions

when the “motions” and the “processes” were wounding me ruthlessly- RELENTLESSLY with not a hint of any  remorse.

tears

the only way to speak my truth was in tears

i needed that cry.

i had no choice

i was broken

the tears explained the words i missed

the tears spoke

my heart’s words.

 

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