- clothes shopping was a treat
- i had girls nights out
- i CHOSE to do teaching and not to further a music performance career
- i could open the wardrobe and feel oh yes…. not dread.
- i was a professional suit wearing lady
- i could choose to do impromptu lunch
- i was a formidable crusader against poor health care provision
- music was work
- we went out for regular meals with our couples friends
- i was the primary parent- the one you asked for info – who took charge of that part of life in the house
- i went for walks- power-walks
- i did pilates…several times a week.
- when i needed to look good i could
- i didn’t have pain all day
- i didn’t sleep til middle of the day
- i could take the car and drive off for the day
- i could assume i would be able to.
- i could plan ahead.
- i knew what i could do always.
- i could play effortlessly on piano as required
- i thought i would grow old and retire…and hoped quietly it would be to the sea…the WAVES.
- i became an expert on my son’s autism as i knew i needed to. no doubt there.
- i’d visit.
- people would visit us.
- i was in control of me…
- i could sleep without pain
- i knew what size i was as mediation and stagnation was not an issue
and i don’t live happily ever after.
i live day to day.
limited every single day
isolated most of the time
assistance needed in everything.
i don’t really feel i live my life…at times…
other times i do try and i DO succeed to see the positives of being alive and having the family i have, and being able to do what i still can…however less that may be..it’s more than some people can. I AM lucky.
so happy ever after…to still be alive.