3 years….on my own relatively.

at least i have a brain

the most painful tears

are for you

tears of loss

tears of loneliness

tears of sorrow and great sadness

tears wishing life had been different

and that choices weren’t made….

words weren’t said….

the most painful tears

are never about my physical pain

but the emotional loneliness

of grieving for people who had to leave

not all of them taken from life

but from me.

the most painful tears

are silent


shed ALONE

never explained

never witnessed

and are from my heart.

yet how could they be heard?

in prayer, perhaps.

As i cry at times i physically reach out in gesture,

in words,

in hope?

but tears from so deeply within me they flow continuously from an original source

as i try to remind myself that there is nothing more i can do

it’s not up too me now.

no more ways i can say what i have

View original post 142 more words



  1. This breaks my heart Helen. I am so sorry that your friends and colleagues have deserted you. Do you have an email address? If you do we could share ours and I could send notes from time to time to see how things are going. I know it’s not much but maybe some kind of human contact would help. It’s just a thought. Love, N 🙂 ❤

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