if i was a DOCTOR…. i’d be one who i have learned we NEED…

So you know, the ONLY job i considered which didn’t specifically involve Maths and Music, was Medicine…actually possible Forensic Medicine! (but in my defence, careers education was so rubbish in the 70s, that MY idea of Forensic pathology was based on Quincy!)

But i think i wasn’t so wussy, and had stood up for my own opinions, and not been so easily affected i could have ended up doing medicine!.BUT if i had been the wussy “yes” person that  i was then i would have made a rubbish doctor who played it safe!

If i were to be a doctor, it would HOPEFULLY be a doctor built up of all the things which i as a patient, have learned from experience.

  • I have gathered, encountered and collated some really great practice,  and
  • some appointments which had a lack of adequate humanity and
  • some who i STILL respect as greatly UNTYPICAL species… those ones who survive despite the 10 minute slots the system tries to inflict on them ❤

so LIFE has told me, that theoretically,  i would be a good Doctor!



  1. I would be a THINKER…i wouldn’t use the word VIRUS…unless i had the blood tests to back it up. Any thing would have to be reasoned out or i would stick at it.
  2. I’d be HONEST –to my reasons for being a doctor. Not a clock-in -ten-minute-slot doctor. I really could never be one of those. If you don’t want to really help people you are in the wrong job!
  3. I’d be OPEN– with patients…with statistics, with information, with risks, with off-label drugs. At the end of the day if a doctor knows something it IS the patient’s legal right to know the same. And by God does that not happen!
  4. i couldn’t be a GP…and that is not by any means a snobbish decision, but somewhere between my childhood and my middle years, so many GPs are Signposts…passing any clinical decision making on. What ever happened to interest? Are we all about form filling, and arse covering as a society?
  5. whatever type of SPECIALIST i became, i would be an outside-the-box thinking version of that. Rules are there as ideals. Life doesn’t come in black and white- so why do so many administrative decisions? Yes i may be a bureaucratic nightmare to employ, but if you want a pen-pusher, you can’t get a real ethical doctor as well.. have seen too many proofs that bureaucracy and medicine can’t mix properly!
  6. I couldn’t work in a SILO. whoever invented Middle-Management as a concept, should be ashamed!. How , when body’s organ systems are so intrinsically linked, can we compartmentalise as we do? There are shoe-boxes of departments….unable to draw links and share ideas with departments also involved. For each of this SILOS there is at least one of these clone like Middle-manager…don’t ask me what they do, as any-time i have asked or questioned them in relation to any care, they seem to employ a RUSSIAN-DOLL type structure…you rattle one and another identically useless thinker pops out…and so it continues. The SILO system is most clearly evident in the Mental-Health System (i do use the term system loosely). Since in it’s arena you can have a serious addiction, but not really ever be depressed, seen for severe self esteem issues…it operates a one pathway only approach to recovery. Is it any wonder our Mental-Health System fails so frequently? And once gain the Russian Dolls dot all i’s and cross t’s…but care? PAH
  7. I would be a PERSON first and then a DOCTOR . This hierarchy which exists in the head of people who may be deluded enough to think it automatically comes with the job, disgusts me. Not in an I-have-a-chip-on-my-shoulder-way but in an education is NOT related to respect…that comes from being a NICE person! When doctors get too aware of titles and power, i think it is sadly inevitable that the GOD-COMPLEX develops…the listen-to-me-I-am-your-specialist! -do-NOT-question-me. Doctors are wrong too! Accepting and admitting your mistakes is one of the powerful tools of LEARNING. When someone loses sight of this, they are on a slippery slope!
  8. As a PERSON my interest in people and their health, would be my job. Not my timed hours, my strict adherence to rules and red-tape and speed with paperwork…but my interest in people! This is what we used to get in a GP!
    • a man who after hours was still on your case,
    • who didn’t listen when specialists were missing something,
    • who put you in his car and drove you to neurologist cos with no scan he knew you had a brain tumour…
    • and he CARED
    • not just for the illness, but for the outcome for the whole family!

9.  on a WARD teaching -round, I would not be interested in appearing  funny, smart-ass, shutting up patients and parents with my terminology by confusing them and convincing them i know what it is…i would want my juniors to tell me! I’d want to teach junior staff:

    • how to THINK
    • how to respect
    • how to remove yourself from a textbook, and think outside the theory,
    • how to care – not in a polite indifferent way, but in a human way where you don’t stand like little soldiers around the room walls, and behind your demi-god and be impressed
    • to NOT be afraid to break ranks, and throw in the curve-ball thought that others may have missed!
    • to NOT be afraid of being wrong- by speaking out you open a valuable discussion!

as a junior doctor, what do you learn by standing MUTE watching one person’s attempt at placating parent/patient without a diagnosis by anything more than best guess?

10. I would want to be a doctor known for being

    • aggravating to managers with lack of adherence to anal rules
    • for being behind in paperwork because i was investigating an idiosyncratic presentation by liasing with the author of a review article
    • educating properly and conscientiously – not run of the mill to juniors
    • a person who popped in and out to patients – on a first name basis..working closely and personally does not work well with barriers in place
    • who said when i was still lost -admits a mistake… but was NOT giving up and blaming a VIRUS…easy opt out.
    • would want to treat all patient’s as i would want my family members to be treated.
    • to be educated by patients whose symptoms were NOT theoretically perfect, but who presented in a new way
    • to solve puzzles…and when i stopped wanting to solve them, then its time to go! And hand over to one of the quirky thinkers behind me 🙂


the NHS would not want to employ someone like that!





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