I don’t practice my religion “strictly” anymore.
I went from being a person with a lot of liturgical involvement to one hurt by people and I am now, just another person who I suppose is “lapsed”. – makes me sound like a late library book.
BUt it’s much more significant than that. Significant to me.
My faith was a strong one. But it was bound and tangled into my deep involvement in liturgy. I felt God’s hand in my work there, as it was my using my natural talent. There i had invested years of offering, and prayers.
When i had any crisis in life, i went into an empty church to pray, to cry, to listen…just to be there…with God.
I have filled my time and found other ways to use my talents, but the part i seem to have lost is my GOD.
GOD and I never fell out.
But i find i am not able to pray – not as i used to.
Am not able to connect with God when i want to.
But there are times, and things when i KNOW i can see GOD.
i can see GOD!
not in a place
not in a context or a defined religious practice.
when i think of my mum, i miss her, but i feel her presence. ..i KNOW there is a heaven and a GOD.
in the love of my family.
In the caring of my husband.
in the fragility of beauty of spring blossoms…no man could make those…i see God’s work.
waves, angry waves, relentless and infinite. Only GOD could drive this beautiful force.
in beauty inside – visible in the eyes of friends
in comfortable silence.
thunder and lightning – always signs of the hand of a God of power.
My children when they sleep…godlike in innocent sleep.
in kind gestures i see glimpses of a community i miss.
in gifted artists
unexpected gestures of kindness
in purity of musical sound
in smiles of friends.
the blossoming cherry blossom
i am closest to God in nature now.
but i can see GOD in others
and in nature.
i can see God ANYWHERE….