March 31, 2013helenhamill

Is it my age?? or is there a GOD?


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Happy Easter …

God is risen?

what God?

is this a stage of life?

I am 48.

is that old?

I seem to be surrounded by tragedy….illness…injustice…why?

Cancer  – everywhere…family, friends, children of friends. babies!

Lifelimiting conditions – friends, family, friends’ parents.

Death – not-logical deaths – daughter’s friend, a young mum, c colleagues sister, a recent pupil, a  suicide of a child who was friends with my younger kids.

Mental illness – everywhere – indiscriminate – me, family, friends, children of friends, children of family.

Hardships-  a young mam taken from young family …her husband died last year.

Illness the amount of illhealth in my family alone. NOBODY could believe it. my children, my husband, myself, my parents….i could go on.

what next –the “what are the odds”  – the what the feck else can be flung at us? or at my friend and her family? another friend and his life?

unpredictables – what is next with hubbies ADR to drugs? So many tests to be done…both for him and for me… Which of us gets news first?

Injustice –WHY do good people seem to attract life’s challenges? why do we call them challenges? They are fecking nightmares!

Why do life’s bad people seem  to go through life dumping on people, harming people, mentally damaging all they come into contact with, lying, mentally abusing….and yet unscathed?? how the hell is that fair?

Is this a coming of age?

Is it the fact that we do more Wakes than Weddings?

We are the generation who are burying their parents? but it can’t be – these friends are dying YOUNG,  far too young!

this weekend on one evening was texting 2 friends – about child seriously ill, a husband seriously ill. a mam seiously ill….where do you stop?

WHAT IF WE HAVE IT ALL WRONG?

is this it?

HOW can there be a God…who cares?

How can so much tragedy affect a few?

Life is too short…

but WHY would a God do this ?

i AM a Christian, but you know what, it gets harder to have much conviction with so many challenges and so few reasons.

Is this the loving God we learned about in school?

yet if i didn’t believe…could i cope?

hx

4 comments

  1. Well it won’t surprise you to know that I do in fact believe there is a God.
    And He is where He always is… on the Throne of Heaven!

    The world is falling apart and there’s no doubt about it. People get old, people get sick and crap happens. Everyone has their sadness and that saying about everyone throwing their troubles into the middle of the middle and wanting to take your own back, is true I would think.

    But I believe God is to be worshipped because He is worthy; because He is God!

    There is a day coming when He will make everything right and even up the scores. Those who have lifted themselves higher than they ought will be brought down, those who have been put down will be lifted up. Everything will be made right. The sense of injustice that you are feeling, even that comes from Him. Because He is a just God.
    And every day that He DOESN’T come back to fix it all, is a day of mercy. Another chance for folk to ‘make their peace with God’.

    You, or I should say one, either believes He is a good God or not!
    Your last sentence is certainly where I am. You don’t want my list of crap on your blog 🙂 But without God in my life, without His grace and mercy and forgiveness I would be nothing.

    Revelation 21:3-5
    “And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
    He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

    Happy Easter my darlin’ friend, A xxx

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